i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
