I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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