I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
