you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
