so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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