why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
