So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
