Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize