it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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