how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
