mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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