Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
