Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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