Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
