She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize