Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
