I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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