I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
