what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
