I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
