He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize