He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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