The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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