i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
