I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just threw up on my dentist
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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