Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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