I wanna passion pit in your ass
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
pray to the hookup gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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