Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Randomize
