I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
