sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
