Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
