she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
