Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
