You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
