i permit you to call me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
