whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
