yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
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A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
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Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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