Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
