the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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