go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
