I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
