watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
