worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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