Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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