I didn't shave. On purpose
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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