if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
