Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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