I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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