you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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