Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
