You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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