Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
