Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
