Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
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That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
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Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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