What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
