I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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